


Everyone Has Some Kind Of Weird Sex Thing, This One Is Just A Bit More Elaborate

by TheseusInTheMaze



Category: Buzzfeed The Try Guys (Web Series)
Genre: Anal Play, Choking, Drunk Sex, Embarrassment, Gaslighting, Genderbend Fantasy, M/M, Masturbation, Multiple Orgasms, Penis In Vagina Sex, Public Sex, Rape Fantasy, breeding fantasy, fantasies, forced impregnation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-21
Updated: 2018-07-22
Packaged: 2019-06-14 02:11:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15378441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheseusInTheMaze/pseuds/TheseusInTheMaze
Summary: So Zach has a bunch of fantasies. Some of them are... not exactly what he'd expect.





	1. Overactive Imagination

**Author's Note:**

> There is some intense stuff in this fic - mainly fantasies involving genderbending, rape, and forced impregnation. This is all in the spirit of fantasy, and no disrespect is intended with the writing of this fic. 
> 
> (Yay, my first locked Try Guys fic! I do have some shame after all!)

So Zach… Zach had a few fantasies.

A few weird fantasies.

He’d always been like that, honestly - he had an overactive imagination as a kid, and that had paired with his libido when puberty hit… well, to go with the nerdy example, it was a bit like a mix of matter and antimatter.

And then he’d discovered the internet and, well…. 

He knew fiction from reality. 

He didn’t mix up day to day life and the rampant fantasies that danced through his head.

He didn’t even notice when his workmates/best friends entered into it, until one day… he did.

At which point he shrugged his shoulders, and tried not to get too weird about it, because what else was he gonna do? 

He was an adult.

They were all adults.

It was fine.

It was all fine.


	2. Ned

The Try Guys had a trip, and they slept two to a bed, and Zach would have been lying if he'd said he didn't like it.

It was... it was nice, to have another body in the bed next to him, even if it was just the chance for some human closeness. 

It wasn’t even a sexy thing, not really - humans miss humans, and Zach wasn’t exactly touch starved (try being touch starved around his three best friends), but there was a comfort in waking up in the middle of the night and feeling the warmth of another human being in arm’s reach. 

And... well, part of the fun of being an adult was being able to do shit like sleepovers with your buddies, where you got drunk and slept in the same bed and had deep, weird conversations at deep, weird hours. 

When Zach was finally back home in his own bed, his brain... went places. 

Interesting places.

Um. 

And then he gave a mental shrug, got up, got the lube, a towel, and his favorite dildo, because... well, fuck it. 

Why not?

* * *

Zach lay on the towel, completely naked, his eyes shut, his head thrown back, and he let his mind wander. 

And it landed on Ned.

Well, Ned was a nice guy.

He was sweet.

He was funny. 

He was very much in dad mode at present - constantly gushing over the new baby, very excited about it.

Eugene had made jokes about Ned being potent and virile and some other word, and Ned had laughed and mumbled something, but he'd been blushing, and that was always impressive, because Ned didn't get that embarrassed most of the time, and yet. 

And now... Zach's mind was going someplace.

What would it be like... what would it be like to get someone pregnant?

He'd cum inside of someone, true, but that was... that was different.

Or maybe... what about getting pregnant?

Hm.

His cock gave an interesting twitch, and he paused, looking down the line of his body, and his cock was leaking precum down his belly.

Um. 

Was this going to turn him into some kind of... hm.

Was this, like a gender thing?

Was he overthinking things?

Probably.

He was probably overthinking it.

What the hell.

Might as well dive deep into the fantasy and get off, right?

* * *

So Zach dived in. 

What would he look like, if he were... if he were femme? If he had a pussy, if he had tits?

Hmm....

* * *

Zach rolled over, and Ned pressed closer to him.

There was a hard cock against his ass, and he squirmed away from it, but there was an arm wrapped around his middle.

"C'mon, you want to help make a baby, don't you?"

(Actual Zach, in his bed back home, groped around for his lube and a dildo).

"You already have a baby," fantasy Zach mumbled, and he tried to get away, wriggling.

Keith and Eugene were sleeping in the next bed over, and Ned was pressing closer, one hand sliding under Zach's shirt, grabbing a breast.

(A big breast? ... nah, Zach was a shrimp, he might as well have small tits, in his fantasy. Even in his fantasies, he strove for some form of realism). 

And then Ned (fantasy Ned) was shoving Zach's legs open with those muscled soccer players legs (... wow, even in the fantasy Zach was rolling his eyes), and he was... god, Zach wasn't wearing panties, just some lacy nightgown... thing (why would he wear that in bed with Ned? He was overthinking this shit way too much), and then there was a wet cock pressing against him again, and he was shuddering and sobbing, because the cock was just... sliding into him. 

(As the dildo slid inside of him, and he groaned, his back arching, spreading his legs a little wider as his cock twitched against his belly, and it was... god, that was sweet....)

"You'd make a good mom," fantasy Ned was saying, right in Zach's ear, and Zach groaned, trying to struggle, but he was being held against Ned's chest, and Ned was panting in his ear, as Ned just... fucked him. 

And then Ned was pushing Zach into the pillow, and he was just... fucking into Zach's pussy (what would that feel like?), and it was wet and it was hot....

(Zach rolled onto his belly, spreading his legs wider, digging his knees into the mattress, and reached around himself, clumsily fucking himself with the dildo, humping the bed.)

"I'm gonna knock you up right now," fantasy Ned moaned, and then he began to just... slam into Zach, and Zach was gasping and wriggling under him, trying to get free, because that's what you did in a fantasy.

(Never mind that Ned would ever do a thing like this, never mind that this was like the cheesy plot of some kind of shitty porno off of Literotica, or maybe the seedier side of Reddit.)

But... god, in the fantasy, his pussy was getting wetter, his pussy was clenching and shuddering, he was already so close to cumming, and then Ned's thumb was on his clit, and he was twitching his hips and sobbing into the pillow, as Ned's hips started to move faster, slamming into him, and he was groaning, as he got hit with a shameful orgasm....

(As Zach was hit with a dry orgasm, his cock leaking more pre onto the towel as it twitched, and he cried into his own sheets, the pleasure leaving his whole body a shaking, desperate mess, as he kept fucking his ass with the dildo, as his cock rubbed against the towel, getting him closer to his orgasm). 

"That's it, cum on my cock," fantasy Ned said, and then he was pulling Zach closer, and he was cumming inside of Zach, deep inside of Zach's pussy, and he was pressing little kisses along the back of Zach's neck. 

"You'll look so good pregnant," said fantasy Ned, and then Zach was... oh... fuck....

* * * 

Zach came across the towel in a gush, the sweet pleasure washing over him like a wave, as his whole body went tenser and tenser, and then he was sobbing, because god, he could feel the muscles in his belly just... twisted, and he was cumming so hard that his toes were curling, and he was leaving a mess all over the bed.

He flopped down, his face in the pillow, cum all over his belly, and he groaned, a long, deep felt groan.

God, that was... fuck. 

Holy fuck. 

He smiled, just a bit.

He was spending way too much time at work, if it was even sneaking into his fantasies....

Oh well.


	3. Keith

Zach had dropped something over the edge of the desk, and was reaching down to grab it, when someone slapped him on the ass.

There was nothing sexy about it - that was just… kinda how they worked. 

Sometimes people got slapped on the ass. 

There wasn’t any sexual harassment or anything about it - it was just… how they did things.

And then Keith was cackling, and Zach was complaining, and it was all well and good, the way things always went, and Zach put it out of his mind.

Until three days later, when he was alone in bed with an erection, and his brain… well, it was full of interesting twists and turns. 

He vaguely tried to redirect it - if he was going to fantasize while he was masturbating, did it have to be _Keith_? 

… not that he disliked Keith or found him unattractive, no, far from it. 

But still.

But no dice.

His mind kept going back.

To Keith.

Welp.

The heart - or the libido, in this case - wants what it wants.

Zach closed his eyes, kicking his covers off and getting comfortable, pushing his pajama pants down around his thighs. 

He wrapped his hand around his erect cock, and he sighed, beginning to stroke. 

* * *

And… in his fantasy, who was he?

He was a girl again.

Huh.

Was this some kind of… gender thing?

Maybe he was thinking too deeply into it. 

But here he was… in the old Buzzfeed office, with everyone around, and he was… he was a girl, because why the fuck not?

And he was leaning over, to get something, sprawled out over a desk like something out of a porno.

(Because it was a porno in his own head, just for him, and maybe he was overthinking shit, but when did he not?)  
And then there was a big hand on his ass, and he was trying to sit up, but there was another hand in the middle of his back, holding him in place.

He squirmed, and the hand pressed down harder.

“I think you missed it,” said fantasy Keith, who sounded just like regular Keith, because Keith’s voice was one that was hard to forget about. 

“Missed what?”

(… what would Zach’s voice even _sound_ like, if he was a girl? He was probably thinking too deeply into this.)

“The pen,” said fantasy Keith, and the big hand was pushing up Zach’s skirt (of course it was a skirt, what’s the point of having a sexy “taken over the desk” fantasy if you’re not in a skirt), and it was… god, it would rub his pussy through his panties, one big finger over the seam of his labia. 

(He stroked a finger delicately along his taint, and that was… odd, but sort of replicated it, right?)

He shuddered, and in the fantasy, he thrashed. 

And then Keith was… leaning forward, the buttons of Keith’s shirt pressing into Zach’s back, and Keith’s mouth at his ear. 

“You don’t want everyone else to know about this, do you?”

Keith’s voice was cheerful, reasonable, and his cock was hard through his jeans, right up against Zach’s thigh. 

“Keith,” Zach said, “c’mon.”

“How can I resist?”

Fantasy Keith’s voice was just as pleasant, even as that big hand came around, cupping Zach’s whole vulva through the panties, and the very tip of Keith’s finger was against Zach’s clit. 

(Actual Zach pressed two fingers against the head of his cock, and that was… that was certainly a sensation. He wasn’t sure how he felt about it, but it was nice, to just rub a little bit). 

Fantasy Keith just… kept rubbing, and in the fantasy, Zach held on to the edge of the desk, knuckles turning white, breath beginning to come in gasps.

He was shaking, his knees barely holding him up, and he was being pinned by Keith’s own bulk, and Keith’s cock was hard and pressing against his ass.

“You know,” fantasy Keith said, even as he pushed aside Zach’s panties, “Ned got a chance to knock you up, but you’re obviously still not pregnant….”

(In his own bed, Zach paused, and he covered his face with one hand. A fucking narrative? Really? That’s what his brain was going with? Couldn’t he even jerk off like a normal person?)

“Please, don’t… I don’t want….”

“You obviously do, look at the way you’re dressed” said fake Keith, and wow, that was, like, the most un-Keith like sentiment that Zach had ever heard. “You’re barely even wearing panties - they’re tiny, lacy little things.” 

And fantasy Keith just… grabbed the waistband of the panties and snapped them, which was also another thing that would never happen, but, well… Keith just had such _big_ hands, and Zach would be lying if he’d said he’d never thought of them in… that capacity. 

Fantasy Keith’s fingers slid into Zach’s pussy as smooth and silky as a shark in the water (what was with that simile?) and found Zach wet and wanting.

“And here you were complaining,” Keith said, and he was laughing, as his fingers fucked in and out of Zach, and... oh god, yes, that was… good. 

(Zach on his bed pumped his cock, gasping into the open air, his mouth open wide enough that it was like his tongue was drying out, but god, that felt so fucking good, his whole body seemed to be _singing_ ). 

Fantasy Keith curled his fingers, pressing against Zach’s g-spot, and his thumb was against Zach’s clit, and his body was just… pressing into Zach’s, forcing Zach into the desk. 

“I could roll you over,” fantasy Keith said. “I could just roll you onto your back, get you to spread your legs, and then I could just fuck you in front of everyone, right where they can see you….” 

“You’re already doing that,” Zach in the fantasy mumbled into the desk. 

(Zach on the bed, began to move his wrist faster, his other hand coming around to grab his own throat, squeezing it).

And then fantasy Keith’s hand was around Zach’s throat, and fantasy Keith had taken his pants down at some time (it was a fantasy, it didn’t have to follow the rules of things like “time,” did it?), and fantasy Keith’s cock was sliding into Zach’s pussy.

“God,” Keith said, cheerful and friendly as ever, “you feel so good, you’re so tight and silky around me. Fuck, this is… perfect, yes, keep squirming like that sweetheart, I’ll just squeeze your throat a little harder.”

Fantasy Zach gasped, wheezed, his eyes fluttering shut and his heart beating very loud in his head.

(Zach on the bed squeezed again, going a little light headed - he’d always been curious about _actual_ choking, using a belt or something like that, but he was too scared of doing something permanent, or possibly making himself pass out at the wrong moment and then things would go wrong and dying by auto-erotic asphyxiation was one of _the_ most embarrassing ways to die. If there was a list for that). 

Fantasy Keith moaned, a deep, delighted sound, and his hips began to move faster.

“You know,” he said, “you get tighter when I squeeze your throat, so… let’s do that again….”

Another squeeze, and Zach wheezed, his pussy pulsing around the unwanted intrusion.

(Zach squeezed his own throat, hard enough that hurt a little bit, and his cock throbbed in his hand). 

“I’m gonna put a baby in you, obviously,” Keith said. “I know that Ned is super competitive, but he just had a baby. So he doesn’t need another one. So, _obviously_ , I get the next one!”

“It doesn’t work like that,” Zach in the fantasy mumbled.

(Zach in the real world began to fuck his fist harder - he was going to cum soon, a real intense knee shaker of an orgasm). 

“It doesn’t matter,” Keith said, and he draped his big body on top of Zach, and he was breathing into Zach’s hair, then Zach’s ear, and fantasy Keith was squeezing Zach’s neck, and his thrusting was going faster, and... oh god, he was cumming, deep inside of Zach’s pussy, deep enough it was totally going to get Zach pregnant, oh god, fuck…..

* * *

Zach's orgasm hit him like a train, and his hips were bucking up into his own fist, his heels still digging into the mattress, his eyes squeezed shut.

_Fuck_.

He was going to have cum in his chest hair.

His own cum in his chest hair.

He flopped back onto the bed, as his whole body kept tingling, his toes curling and his heart beating loudly in his head.

… fuck. 

Maybe he needed to do some research about this kink… thing.

Or maybe he was overthinking it.

That was always a distinct possibility.

But before he did anything else, he had to go take a shower.

With a groan, he stood up.


	4. Eugene

Eugene and Zach sat on the couch together, and they got drunk.

Well, Zach got drunk.

Eugene just drank.

“You know, dude, there’s… there’s shit in my head,” said Zach.

“That’s what having a mind is,” Eugene said. 

The “dumbass” was implied, but only just.

Zach snickered, still leaning into Eugene, his nose pressed into Eugene’s neck.

His nose was cold.

Eugene’s neck was warm.

He pressed closer, rubbing his nose into Eugene’s neck, and Eugene made an annoyed noise, shoving him away.

Zach kept giggling, and Eugene pulled him closer again, as Zach listed into him.

“I’ve got some… some weird shit,” Zach said, and he let his eyes drift shut, enjoying the chance for some human closeness, even as the booze ran through his whole body. 

He let himself slip into sleep.

* * *

Zach woke up on Eugene’s couch, to the smell of eggs.

“Um?”

Zach sat up, rubbed his eyes. 

“Hey,” said Eugene, and he was… scrambling eggs.

“I thought you didn’t cook,” said Zach, rubbing his eyes. 

“This is eggs. That doesn’t count.”

“Totally does.”

“Nuh uh,” said Eugene.

Zach rolled his eyes, and he rubbed his head.

“Real mature,” he said. 

“I do my best,” said Eugene. “Are you gonna come eat your eggs?”

“Did you put milk in ‘em?”

“Nope. I remembered your super delicate stomach, so there’s no milk or cheese or _anything_ that might upset your delicate constitution.”

Zach snorted.

“Constitution?”

“I can use big words,” said Eugene. “I’m not just a pretty face.”

He struck an exaggerated pose, spatula in the air, and Zach laughed so hard that he fell off of the couch.

* * *

Zach got home with minimum hangover, and went about his day.

He went about several days, until they had a long, exhausting shoot, and then…. 

He went to bed, slept like something out of a fairy tale, and woke up with a boner you could use to hammer nails. 

So he sighed, and he covered his face with both hands, and he let his mind drift to wherever it wanted to go. 

Which was… the thing that was starting to turn into an old chestnut. 

Well. 

He sighed, and he slid his hand down, and between his own legs, squeezing his cock through his pajama pants, and he sighed, squeezing again, a little harder.

Oh yes….

* * *

He was… he was a girl again. 

He was a girl again, and he was on Eugene’s couch again, only this time he was a girl, and he was wearing a miniskirt (always the miniskirts, the tiny dresses - his inner letch was such a cliche, holy crap), and he was… he was wobbling.

“Have another drink,” said fantasy Eugene, and he gave Zach something sweet and fruity.

And Zach… Zach lolled against him, half in and out of… well, everything, still clearly drunk, and Eugene wrapped an arm around his shoulders, and he was squeezed.

Fantasy Eugene’s hand was right on the edge of Zach’s breast, and Zach’s heart was beating very hard. 

Um. 

“Eugene?”

“Mm?”

Eugene was pulling him closer.

“We should… we should have some… y’know, it’s hot.”

“Is it?”

Eugene pulled Zach closer, and then Zach… was in Eugene’s lap, back to Eugene’s belly. 

When had that happened?

Fantasy Eugene was pressing his chin into Zach’s shoulder, and maybe, since it was a fantasy, their heights were a bit less of a disadvantage, and Eugene was nuzzling into Zach’s neck. 

“You still smell the same,” said fantasy Eugene. “I guess you’re not pregnant yet.”

(In what would would Eugene say something like that? Holy fuck, he sounded like something out of a horrible sort of porno. Really? Fucking _really_?)

“I dunno what you’re talking about,” Zach said. 

“Keith told me about how he tried to knock you up,” said Eugene, right in Zach’s ear. 

(God, it still had a stupid fucking narrative. For fuck sake.)

“I… that was….”

“It’s okay. Shh….” 

And fantasy Eugene was rubbing Zach’s belly, fantasy Eugene was moving further up, to squeeze Zach’s breast.

“What are you -”

“I’m not doing anything,” fantasy Eugene said, as his fingers twisted Zach’s nipple.

(Zack twisted his own nipple, and he moaned up at the ceiling, humping against his own hand, breathing heavily, shaking, his toes curling in his sheets). 

“Eugene, you’re….”

“You’re drunk, babe,” said fantasy Eugene, and the room kept spinning, except that some of that seemed to be jostling him as well, and Zach lolled back against Eugene, his mouth open as he pouted, some stupid horror movie playing in the background. 

“Your phone is poking me,” said Zach. “Take it out of your pocket.”

And then he saw Eugene’s phone on the table.

Huh.

Must have been the wallet.

“Sorry, baby,” said fantasy Eugene, and now both hands were on Zach’s tits, kneading and twisting and pulling on them. “How about you get more comfy, hm?”

“What are you doing, Eugene?”

“Nothing, baby, just enjoy your movie….”

(... this was stretching credibility, even for a sexy fantasy, but god, Zach was just jerking himself off harder, so hard that his wrist was beginning to hurt, but oh _fuck_ , this was hot). 

“Eugene, what are you… what are you doing?”

“I’m sorry, baby, you just… you smell good, You’re so warm, you’re so… soft, I just wanna… fuck, please?”

“Fuck what?” 

“You want me to fuck you?”

And then… fantasy Eugene was pushing Zach onto his back, one of Zach’s feet on the floor, and fantasy Eugene was forcing Zach’s leg onto the back of the couch. 

“Baby,” fantasy Eugene said, “you’re so beautiful. Please? I’m just so… I’m so hard for you.”

“No,” Zach said, and fantasy Eugene frowned at him.

“You’re so wet,” fantasy Eugene said, and his hand was going between Zach’s legs, cupping Zach’s sex, and the heel of his hand was grinding against Zach’s clit.

Zach sobbed, and he rolled his hips forward, his mouth opening wide, licking his lips.

“God, you’re so wet you soaked through your panties,” said fantasy Eugene. “You look so hot, and you’re so wet… look, you already made my fingers all pruney, look.”

He wafted them in front of Zack’s face, and Zach could smell the scent of his own arousal. 

(He sniffed his own fingers, and yeah, that was his scent, and okay, it was a little weird, but… fuck it, if you’re going to have a weird kink, you might as well enjoy all of the depravity that comes with it, right?)

And Zach sobbed, as fantasy Eugene began to unbutton his own pants, and then he was grabbing Zach’s panties, ripping them open.

“I just want to get the tip of my cock wet,” he told Zach, as Zach blinked up at him, bleary. “I just want to… y’know, use your pussy juice like lube, that’s all. So just the tip.”

“Just the tip,” Zach echoed.

“Just the tip, to see what it feels like,” said fantasy Eugene, and he pressed closer, until the wet head of his cock was sliding along Zach’s labia, and he was… god, he was rubbing the head right up against Zach’s clit, and Zach was thrashing on the couch, sobbing.

Fuck, he was already beginning to tense up, his pussy was so tight, so wet… fuck. 

Oh god. 

And then Eugene was sliding his cock in, his forehead against Zach’s.

(... when had their heights gotten back to normal? Where was his consistency?!)

Eugene slid all the way in, and he was so thick, so hot, so… everything.

Oh god. 

Zach sobbed, clenched around it, and he let himself be fucked, because what else was he going to do?

He humped into it, and he moaned and thrashed, breathing so heavily that his head was beginning to go light.

He was so drunk, so loopy, and he was just… being fucked. 

He was a thing, to be used. 

“I’m going to knock you up,” said Eugene, right in Zach’s ear.

(... really. More of this? Fucking seriously?)

“You want to… fuck, you’re going to make me… you’re… god, Zach, you’re so tight, you’re so wet, I’m going to make you cum, cum on my cock, do it, cum on my cock, make me cum, make me cum, c’mon….”

“Pull out,” said Zach, “pull out, please pull out, I don’t….”

“No, baby, shh, we’re gonna give you a baby, c’mon, let’s get you pregnant, don’t you want it?”

“No, no, I don’t -”

“Shhh,” said Eugene, and he was pressing closer, his hips rolling faster, and he was groaning, beginning to shake, clutching at fantasy Eugene’s shirt. 

“No, please, I don’t want to get….” 

(On the bed, Zach had one hand covering his mouth, the other hand jerking his cock with the kind of desperation that he associated with his teenage years - _god_ but he was a sick puppy, if this was getting him off so hard).

And then fantasy Eugene was cumming inside of Zach, and Zach was… Zach was going stiff, Zach was crying, and fantasy Eugene was rubbing his clit, and Zach’s toes were curling, as he came around fantasy Eugene’s softening cock, and it was… god, it was keeping all the cum inside of him, and he was shaking.

“You’re going to do great, it’s gonna be great,” fantasy Eugene said. “You will. It’ll definitely be my baby.”

(Zach, on his back, came on his chest, came on his belly, came so hard that his head was throbbing, and he lay flat on the bed, gasping; holy fuck.)

* * *

So maybe this was some… some weird shit.

Some very weird shit.

But… he wasn’t hurting anyone.

It all just felt good.

Now he just… needed to do something.

Be productive.

… in a minute.

**Author's Note:**

> Like this fic?
> 
> Want me to write you something like it, or something completely different? 
> 
> Come talk to me on my tumblr, theseusinthemaze.tumblr.com!


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